Professor Patriarch

This article was taken out from the blog due to possible action against my entire computer engineering class of 2007. But as fortune favors the brave and all of us survive both Chachu and the action the post is back. And what could be a better day than fool’s day to bring it back. Happy fool’s day!

Drive fast man. Hari said this to Ryan in an absolutely cold Sunday morning with Alok adjusted behind him. When the three sat on the bike in that manner it seemed like they were performing a show in a circus. You might think where were they going when everybody else was sleeping & would continue to sleep till 12 noon? They were going to attend the lecture of IRTS (Intelligent Real Time Systems). Cold Sunday morning. Three college boys. Going to attend a lecture. Sounds strange. Only one thing must seem acceptable to you that three boys adjusted on one bike. The great engineering colleges of India have huge number of boys & not many bikes. But there was one professor who could make this morning class possible. You might think that whether she was very beautiful that made these boys get up early morning to attend a complex lecture of a complex subject?

But believe me they were going to attend the lecture of a 60 year old man who was going to teach something which was never going to help any one of them ever in their future. Forget the professor’s name. They used to call him “Chachu”. If you want to understand Chachu then imagine a person who never got married, held a double M.E & double PhD & had 25 years of experience in formal systems. He was father of all fathers, king of all kings. He used to take their classes 4 hrs a day, 7 days a week. For the whole semester he taught verification & validation but in the end even the topper was unable to tell what verification & validation is.

Chachu didn’t know how to operate a computer leave programming aside. His cabin was 4ft X 6ft & can you imagine what stuff you would find there? 3 lockers, 3 PCs, 1 printer, 3 phones, 2 tables, 4 chairs, 3 stools, 90 registers, thousands of stapled photocopies, a decade old project reports & assignment files, confidential material of some Japanese company. You must be thinking why he needed 3 PCs & all other stuff. The explanation for PCs is: One computer was for surfing & because viruses come from internet he would not keep his secure data on that, one was his personal system & he wouldn’t allow students to touch it, and one PC was for students which he would not touch. Now you can make out similar explanations for other stuff.

For the past 15 years his project groups were submitting the same project with different names every year. The project that he allotted to my topper was somewhat like this: Combine the four operating systems: DOS, Windows, Linux & UNIX & to make a single operating system & provide user the flexibility to switch from one operating system to other whenever he likes on a mouse click.

Now read the most unique quality of Chachu. He used to tell the whole examination paper in advance & sometimes gave students the opportunity to put their own questions in the examination paper. Imagine the amount of satisfaction that a student can get when he prepares his own examination paper. When the paper was finalized he used to ask the toppers to solve the paper. They used to solve it & distribute the solutions. Then he used to arrange practice sessions for the students to solve the examination paper in 2 ½ hrs so that in the final examination they can do it in 3 hrs.

And last but not the least Hari attempted for 88 marks in the IRTS paper. Chachu called him & said that he would definitely fail this time but when the result came to everybody’s surprise Hari got 95. Whether this kind of professor really exists? Whether students really wake up early morning to attend such lectures? Can a 60 year old man teach for 4 hrs a day, 7 days a week? Does Japanese company know that its confidential material is no longer confidential? Can students club four operating systems into one? Can a person survive in such a small cabin with this much stuff to handle? Can students set their own examination paper? If this all can happen then why is this article posted as pure fiction? Aren’t the names stolen from “five point someone”? Think!!!